05/ 09/ 2014

New Video: Nice Guys Finish Last?

My video take on the “nice guy” rant:

3 responses to “New Video: Nice Guys Finish Last?”

  1. Well. I got to know a great girl once through work about 12 years ago. Couple of dates, hit the movies and I was enjoying my time with her. I didn’t push for anything. We were out late and went back to my place and she stayed the night, in my opinion since it was only about two weeks into the relationship I didn’t think she wanted to do anything so I put her in my bed and I hit the couch.

    After the weekend, she left me for her ex who was physically abusing her. I asked why and her answer: I thought you were more exciting, you are too boring.

    That answer and the circumstance with who she went back to really didn’t do me any good, totally feel like I was the nice guy who finished last there! Not the end of those kinds of stories either. But I get it, and to the facts, I am kind of boring. I don’t thrill anyone, and that is something I have to figure out for myself. I don’t blame her, except for her choice to go to someone, again, who abused her.

    • Wow–sounds like this girl was an extreme and sad situation, considering the abuse. But I still think that it’s wrong to view this as a competition, in this case between you and the abuser. Her decision to go back to him and not date you may not have anything to do with each other. She wanted someone more exciting–but that doesn’t mean she finds abuse to be fun and exciting. No one but her knows why she went back to that guy.

      If she dated you for two weeks, she may not have thought you were as boring as you think. But–and I don’t know how many times you guys went out, or how difficult it would have been for her to go home that night–she may have had an issue with you being so cordial with her that night. There are exceptions to this, but generally grown women who’ve been dating someone for a couple of weeks know what’s up when they stay over your house. That’s when you’re SUPPOSED to make the move. You should respect them if they say no, but in this day and age, the attempt is expected. I guess you could say, in this case, you didn’t get with the girl because you turned down the opportunity. But that’s not to say she wouldn’t have gone back to the abuser even she did sleep with you–there are clearly some issues there either way.

      Anyway, we are not meant to like everyone we date, and this just sounds like a mismatch. Maybe instead of figuring out this issue of being more thrilling, you could rethink the kind of women you’re attracted to and whether they compliment you, not the other way around. So you like movies and waiting a long time before putting the moves on? That’s who you are–there are probably plenty of “nice girls” out there who’d appreciate that. (or are they too boring?) 🙂

      • I agree with everything you’ve said, I never blamed her but at the same time I felt kind of bad. You are right about missing the chance and that has always been my issue, nobody else’s 🙂 All I can do is focus on the things I think I need to improve my self esteem enough to have the confidence to both know when is the right time, and then take the risk by making the move I suppose.

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I'm a 30-something multimedia creator from New York. I do videos on Youtube centered on open discussion and co-mentorship. Once a month, I host a Q&A with inspiring people from entrepreneurs to athletes and more on The itsme Podcast. Be warned: I can be opinionated. But it's all love! Please follow and subscribe, it would mean a lot! :)

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