16/ 09/ 2008

Is dating obsolete?

Funny post by another blogger advocating sex resumes so people can cut to the chase:http://geist0.wordpress.com/2008/08/29/resume/

He mentions a topic close to my heart in this post–the insanity that is dating. It’s probably the worst song and dance institution man ever invented. I have never, ever, slept with or gotten into a relationship with a man whom I’ve “dated” in the formal sense of the word. I mean … if it takes an excruciating interview session over dinner to decide whether I like a person or not, it’s already too late.

When my girlfriends gush about great dates, it’s always about how the guy was dressed, what restaurant he picked, what dishy things he divulges about his life, how well written or funny his follow-up email was, etc.; all completely useless information, because it’s not representative of who the guy really is nor what kind of boyfriend he would be. It’s probably also the same sales pitch he gave to countless other women. So what’s so special or fun about that?

I should add a disclaimer here, because most women probably wouldn’t approve of the way I dive headfirst into things based purely on my physical reaction to people. Before my boyfriend and I were ever an item, for example, we were just two people hooking up–and hook up we did, until we realized we wanted to make it permanent and exclusive.

It takes about 16 seconds for me to decide whether I want to sleep with a person and 16 minutes of conversation to decide whether the person is worthy of more than that. By the end of 16 minutes I may know nothing factual about him except that he references Seinfeld and has nice teeth, but I will know enough about our chemistry to know whether he’s the type of guy I can spend a lot of time around and make exceptions for.

For the record, this does not mean I am less discerning than people who prefer to go through the whole “dating” process. In actuality I have HIGHER standards; because while they are busying themselves and wasting their time dating 10% or more of the potential partners they meet, I know that only 1% of the prospects I meet are worthy of getting in my bed and .5% are worthy of taking part in the other aspects of my life. When I meet people who pass those standards, and if the feeling’s mutual, I waste no time in making it happen.

It’s really a shame that people put themselves through so much crap just to do something that’s supposed to be natural. It’s an even bigger shame that many people out there, including the men who have a chance with me, judge me for going with my impulses instead of following meaningless dating customs.

But hey–if y’all want to spend your lives around people who are so unappealing that you can resist having sex with for more than two encounters, do you.

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I'm a 30-something multimedia creator from New York. I do videos on Youtube centered on open discussion and co-mentorship. Once a month, I host a Q&A with inspiring people from entrepreneurs to athletes and more on The itsme Podcast. Be warned: I can be opinionated. But it's all love! Please follow and subscribe, it would mean a lot! :)

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