10/ 09/ 2008

The slob factor

This just gets better and better. I’m seriously not against Men’s Health; they are filling an important niche (you know, the niche of guys who have no hope and perhaps no desire to be with a woman like me).

Today’s entry will be on one of seven strategies that Men’s Health suggests for guys who want to get a woman’s attention: Hang with the slobs so they can make you look good. I’m focusing on this suggestion first because I have first-hand experience with it; and trust me–it’s not a good idea.

I met a guy last year who wasn’t unfortunate looking. I knew little about him except that he had yet to wow me with conversation, but he seemed friendly and he took initiative (he asked my friend for my phone number). So when he called me out for dinner with his friends one day, I agreed.

I don’t know if he chose this particular dinner because he thought his slobby friends would make him look good, but his friends were definitely messy slobs. They got sloppy drunk and practically trashed our corner of the restaurant, humiliated the wait staff, gave loud, uneducated and inane commentary on American politics, and generally acted exactly like the sort of expats I despise. It got so bad that at the end of the night, I tried tipping the waiters (despite the fact that no one tips here) because I felt so badly about their behavior, and one of the slobs had the audacity to grab the money from me and pocket it. That’s right–they were abusive, stupid, sloppy, AND money-grubbing cheapos.

The guy, on the other hand, was actually well-dressed, remained quiet for the most part, and seemed bemused by the whole scene. He also insisted on giving me a ride back to my place after his friend took my money and chucked a full beer bottle out of his cab window. He apologized profusely on the way there, saying he had no idea the night was going to be like that. Moral of the story? I did NOT invite him up. Nor did I ever accept another invitation from him to hang out. I can’t even look back on that night and laugh about it, because it was completely regrettable; they made me wish I’d never gone out with them, and that’s hard to do.

I’m not against male bonding or wild guys’ nights out. But in the end, the slobs did not serve as contrast to make the guy look good; they only ruined my night and made me wonder how and why he got mixed up with such disgusting people. I like a guy who’s comfortable with having me around his friends, and who surrounds himself with fun, uninhibited people, but not a bunch of Neanderthals. Show me that you have discerning taste in people, and I’ll be flattered that you’re paying attention to me. Show me a portfolio of dumbasses, and well … the portfolio will speak for itself.

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I'm a 30-something multimedia creator from New York. I do videos on Youtube centered on open discussion and co-mentorship. Once a month, I host a Q&A with inspiring people from entrepreneurs to athletes and more on The itsme Podcast. Be warned: I can be opinionated. But it's all love! Please follow and subscribe, it would mean a lot! :)

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