06/ 09/ 2008

The world needs more good porn

I hate porn , and I love porn. I hate that men still feel the need to exercise their “right” to porn even when they’re getting all the sex they want and more. I love that porn has kept me sane at times of desperation. I hate that most porn sucks, and teaches men bad habits (i.e. penetrating at the wrong angles, switching into awkward made-for-porn positions, forgetting–or simply refusing–to wait for their partners to cum first, etc.)

There is good porn, though. And I’m not talking about that soft-porn made-for-women movement that got way too much credit for bad script writing and vain attempts at “acting.” Just because it takes longer to get to the sex doesn’t mean us girls like it; we’re women, not people with more time to spare.

This other blogger wrote somewhat of a tribute to his favorite porn star , who isn’t his real-life ideal, but whom he’s come to rely on; so I figured I’d the same.

Interestingly enough, when I think about my favorite porn, I think of the women in them. It isn’t because I’m attracted to these women–”good” porn for me still needs to include a hot guy who really knows how to move, and be shot in a way that I can see at least 3/4 of his body and preferably his face.

The women make the videos memorable, though, because while most of the porn industry (including the actresses) caters entirely to men, there are precious few porn stars who are just as intent on pleasuring themselves during filming as they are on pleasuring their partners and viewers. When I watch films with these women in them I can be sure that it will either be really hot, because it’s like watching real sex with two people on an even playing field who know what they’re doing, or really funny, because I can recognize and relate to the genuine frustration the woman in the film feels when she’s screaming HARDER! FASTER! COME ON! THAT ALL YOU CAN DO?! to the idiot porn actor who hasn’t a clue what he’s doing. (He, of course, just thinks she’s playing the role of a loud sex partner–but as women, we know she means every word. How can you not love that irony?)

So. With that said, I’d like to introduce MY favorite porn star: Lily Thai .

Her voice was actually kind of a turnoff when I first saw her vids, because she is LOUD and a bit nasally in the Asian American way. But I’ve grown to really like watching her because (1) she gets into it. It’s clear from every one of her videos that she loves sex, and she wants to cum just as badly as her partners. (2) She seems keenly aware that her viewers love her Asian look, and yet she pulls it off without being overtly “Asian” (as in, wearing Asian clothing and acting like the stupid little girl who aims only to please, which so many men think we are).

(3) She has sex-swagger. Whatever she’s doing–even if it’s just walking around naked or giving a blowjob, she approaches it with an I’m-the-best-of-the-best attitude. It makes her seem like truly an equal, and in many cases even dominant over the men, which is a huge contrast to the bubble heads who act like props with vaginas. Bad porn actresses, on the other hand, do nothing for me except perpetuate the feeling that much of the porn industry is still all about victimizing (and championing) stupid women.

It was one of Lily Thai’s videos that made me curious and eventually led me to experiment with female ejaculation.

So if anyone in the porn industry is reading this, I think there is definitely a market out there for woman-friendly porn. And I think the world could also do with more porn with swings and more male porn actors who are vocally and facially expressive. Thanks!



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itsmelori

itsmelori

I'm a 30-something multimedia creator from New York. I do videos on Youtube centered on open discussion and co-mentorship. Once a month, I host a Q&A with inspiring people from entrepreneurs to athletes and more on The itsme Podcast. Be warned: I can be opinionated. But it's all love! Please follow and subscribe, it would mean a lot! :)

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