03/ 07/ 2008

Sexual Darwinism and the 1-in-12 rule

Yet another bit of wisdom discussed on Unfiltered made me think of bar/club strategies.

Nevermind the fact that chicks have a tougher time of this, because while guys generally respect the laws of brotherhood and know not to cock-block each other, women do the opposite. Guys are programmed for better strategies, and they’re pretty basic, too. It doesn’t really take a brain surgeon to figure out that having 100 guys at a bar hitting on one hot chick who’s out of their league isn’t going to get anyone lucky. (Then again, I never accused men of being smart.)

The thing about these situations is, men have the goal of hooking up with the best possible thing they can get their hands on by the end of the night. When women are on the prowl however, we usually are aiming to do our personal best.

I don’t like to downgrade, and depending on the situation I am sometimes insulted when a guy with no game, who can’t dance or dress, and who is really unfortunate-looking thinks he can get with me. I know this sounds superficial, and it would require a scary amount of self-awareness for a person with no game to KNOW he has no game, but it’s true. And honestly: it’s no more superficial than guys betting that hitting on second-choices makes for higher chances of getting sex.

So could the whole hit-on-the-less-than-hottie thing work for women, too? Perhaps, but hitting on gross slobbery ugly guys who might even blow you off because they’re delusional enough to think someone hotter wants them doesn’t sound like fun to me.

Either way, all makes me realize why the club situation is hopeless. EVERYONE who walks through the door is scanning the room for the hottest bit of flesh available. Everyone will do whatever it takes to get that person’s attention. Most of us never realize that “everyone” includes the person we’ve set our eyes on, and the chances that the person has also set their eyes on us is only 1 out of 12. (I’d say 1 out of 300, but let’s face it–most people in clubs are not in the running. I get 1 out of 12 from counting the hottest same-sex people in the club other than you, and adding two people to the mix: yourself and the girl who, regardless of looks or presentation, looks the easiest. 1 out of 12 are the chances that of all those hot people, the hottie you spotted is into YOUR type.

Not to mention the most obvious thing–it’s nearly impossible to find a good match personality wise. The only thing you have to go on at the club is natural beauty, fashion sense, and dancing prowess. Three very important things, to be sure, but also three things that have a 1 in 1,000,000 chance of leading to good sex, much less a relationship/friendship.

So it’s decided then–next time I hit the club, I’m gonna concentrate on dancing and enjoying the music.

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I'm a 30-something multimedia creator from New York. I do videos on Youtube centered on open discussion and co-mentorship. Once a month, I host a Q&A with inspiring people from entrepreneurs to athletes and more on The itsme Podcast. Be warned: I can be opinionated. But it's all love! Please follow and subscribe, it would mean a lot! :)

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