09/ 05/ 2008

True sexual freedom is in the mind

I think as we get older, one of life’s greatest discoveries is that the things that seem so black and white to us as children–the differences between right and wrong, or what’s “normal” and what isn’t—are all subjective. This is definitely true when it comes to sexuality.

I love this post by another blogger, who writes about her personal sexual revolution. She says after her divorce, she realized that many of the things she thought she liked or didn’t were a product of pressures from her partners, her friends or the media. Now, she’s more intent on discovering what she likes, and she no longer feels apologetic for not adhering to some mythical, universal norm.

The post reminds me a bit of a movie–some ridiculous one with Julia Roberts, I think–where the protagonist jumps from relationship to relationship, and changes her favorite breakfast egg each time. She’s awakened when someone finally asks her how SHE likes her eggs, and she can’t decide because for her entire life, her favorite eggs were based on her partners’ favorite eggs. At the end of the film, she symbolically tries every different way of making eggs, and decides on her favorite, after which she falls for the guy who enlightened her and yada yada yada.

The everyday pressures we face are even stronger than those directly from our partners, though. If we’re religious, we face the church. Unless we’re blessed with open-minded and unconditional friendships, we get pressure from our friends, too. The media is a no-brainer, as are our parents who pass their ideas down to us (completely going against their wishes is a form of succumbing to pressure, too). Is there a way to make people wake up and give sexual freedom a try? To free their minds and be willing to decide what it is they truly want/like?

I think it starts with creating a more open environment, which is kind of what I hope I have here on this blog where I share the random intimate goings on in my life and in my mind. But the fact that it has to remain anonymous just shows that I am a victim to these pressures, too.



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itsmelori

itsmelori

I'm a 30-something multimedia creator from New York. I do videos on Youtube centered on open discussion and co-mentorship. Once a month, I host a Q&A with inspiring people from entrepreneurs to athletes and more on The itsme Podcast. Be warned: I can be opinionated. But it's all love! Please follow and subscribe, it would mean a lot! :)

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